JoeBeaudoinDOTnet

… well, besides the idiot management making idiotic decisions, or the idiot employees, or even the idiot customers, this gem nearly killed my cognitive reasoning centers.

It starts with a manager coming up to me and commenting on what a rabid customer was screaming about last night. The rather customer made the claim that the horror DVD section should be moved from the aisle containing the Disney DVDs, because children shouldn’t be subjected to horror. (The customer was apparently incoherent and rambling; the epitome of someone who should have been neutered prior to any sexual intercourse.)
Now understand that on one side of the aisle, the Disney section is to the extreme left of the row, while the horror section is to the extreme right. With 12 4-foot sections in this side, the Disney DVDs take up two sections, with the horror (on that side) taking only 1 4-footer. This leaves, oh, 9 sections (totalling some 36 feet) separating the two. Just for good measure, let me draw this out for the folks paying attention. After Disney, this is the breakdown of what is between Disney and the oh-so-dreaded horror:

1. 1 section of Nickelodeon videos.
2. 1 section of young children’s movies.
3. 2 sections of family movies, which “Over The Hedge”, “Open Season”, and “Ice Age” are a part.
4. 3 sections of Anime, which is not that kid friendly either.
5. 2 sections of science fiction movies.

If this were not the case, I would understand the parent’s concern. (Although I won’t cover how the parent presented his concern, because the way he did it isn’t something to hold up as an example of maturity.)

So to add salt to my brain hemorrhaging, as it were, the manager who brought this to my attention asks me to send an e-mail to the “media bus”. (The media bus is where media employees in the field go to ask for help when a problem is encountered on the battlefield that none of the imbeciles in upper management is able to answer, either consistently or at all. Sadly, this is only a theory since media bus is hardly helpful and doesn’t respond to queries in a timely manner; the lowest response time I’ve ever received from them is roughly 72 hours.) He asks me to ask them whether or not we can move the section, which I know we can’t because the DVDs are in a certain order, or what we refer to as a “flow”. This makes each Worst Buy consistent, since (in the bloodshot-eyed-world of Best Buy corporate) a customer should be able to enter a Best Buy and be able to gain the same experience, regardless of region. My thoughts on that are for another entry, but anyway I wasted 15 minutes trying to write the e-mail.

Yes, I wasted 15 minutes on composing a one paragraph e-mail essentially asking “Can I move the horror section because it is in the same aisle as the family-oriented DVDs and one dim-witted, incoherent mentally deficient cunt had a hissy over it being in the same aisle?” The reason for which is because of how I worded the letter, so that I personally don’t look stupid to the monkey reading the e-mail at the other end…

But then again, I guess I’m assuming good faith in my assumption that the monkey can identify stupidity when it sees it.

Either way, I’m morbidly interested in seeing how this all plays out.

It reminds me of the time when a Best Buy employee asked where the 1 year Xbox Live cards were and then, in the same breath, commented that all he saw were the 12 month cards, the 3 month cards, and the one month card.

Perhaps abortion should be legalized after all.

Went out to the Post Office in Zero Beach today to pick up the Mooby’s shirt I ordered from Jay & Silent Bob’s Secret Stash. (I wasn’t around when they delivered it, as they needed my signature.) Now I have a costume for that “Octoberween” party at work. Fuckin’ A.

In addition, I have a Technoranti listing, which is here.

Also, I’ll be updating both the Battlestar Wiki Blog and my own personal blog with the new WordPress. Boring, eh?

Woulda had a great day if I didn’t walk into that shithole today to give money for the walkathon. (It’s a walkathon on muscular distrophy and altzheimers. It’s supposed to happen on November 4th or something.) No good deed goes unpunished.

Oh, BTW, if you see me on GTalk and you don’t receive a reply from me, don’t get offended. I often leave my gmail/gtalk window open, simply because I’ve been really run down lately and I’m running around trying to juggle my online life (read: Battlestar Wiki), work life, and my own godsdamned life.

I’m also feeling like I’m getting sick: I’m hoping its not a damned cold virus; I don’t need it now.

While at work yesterday, I get a call from my brother, who is bitching about the LCD monitor my parents bought with their new computer. Anyway, this phone call nearly resulted in telling him not-so-politely to go fuck himself… in the classical tradition, of course… as I was in the middle of helping a customer.

However, I was in the midst of helping a customer, so that wouldn’t have been such a wise move.

Bear in mind that this is the weekend and I am starting to feel the onslaught of the holiday season.

So when I went home I simply unplugged the power cord and replugged the cord; it suddenly worked again. Something that took five seconds to fix resulted in a nearly three minute, one-way bitch-session.

The reason I bring this up is because this kind of thing reminds me why I don’t fix people’s computers any more. I don’t care to hold people’s hands when it comes to this sort of shit. Also, what spurred this entry was the fact that I’m going through and cleaning out the hard drive of my Powerbook, and came across this document. It’s a mockery of the “lifestyle sheets” used in some Best Buy locations — though I haven’t actually seen one, since my location never used such a thing, and I find such a thing idiotic beyond my ability to eloquently comment. Apparently, the “lifestyle sheet” is a cheatsheet for sales people who can’t actually sell.

It’s really rather funny, and I’ve uploaded it for your review, since it primarily deals with selling computers and what the Worst Buy people view as “non negotiables”. I don’t know exactly where I got this from, but I believe it was a LiveJournal user who used to work for BBY.

Went back to hell today. It turns out that my own department was hit for $150+ worth of CDs just yesterday. (11 CDs at around 13 bucks… you do the math. Please.)

Anyway, I needed to vent because that pissed me off greatly. I was ready to yell, scream and pontificate in a vulgar matter at the morning meeting, prior to opening the store. Fortunately, someone else broached the issue, but I’ll hear about this shit from my discipline manager again on Tuesday when I go into work. And I was really looking forward to going back to work too.

Ah, well, reality check. Dee dee dee.

So here’s what I am going to do:

If I catch the fucktwit who is stealing from my domain, I will fuck you up so badly that you won’t even realize you’ve been fucked up. I imagine golf clubs covered with blood and your ability to procreate damaged beyond repair — we don’t need your kind contaminating the world, after all — however, sadly, that’s only in my imagination. Instead I’ll leave that to the inmates when your ass gets arrested and sodomized by your fellow scum of the earth; nothing like honor amongst thieves after all.

What I will do to facilitate this: I will be there to publicly humiliate your ass with my camera. I will take pictures of you and your accomplices being escorted out of the fucking building. If the police are pussy-shit and let you go with a slap on the wrist, I will humiliate you in the court of public opinion. Call it a public execution, if you will, because that’s what it’ll be. I will post a page on my website with your picture and what you stole.

Nothing like humiliation to correct deviant behavior.

Hence the reason why I ask that anyone in retail (or anyone seeing theft occur), to take a picture of the thieves and publicly humiliate them vis a vis the Internet. Expose them to the light, because if we leave them to fester in the darkness, then this shit will only go out of control.

So, the ultimate question is, how much is your pride and dignity worth to you? $150? $13? $1?

I couldn’t take sitting home trying to enjoy the final 24 hours of my vacation before the coming hail-of-shit storm. I tried cleaning my room but I had knots in my Godsdamned stomach…

So I went to see Hollywoodland, which is a story dealing with the death of Superman actor George Reeves — not to be confused with Christopher Reeve, who portrayed Superman in the movies. (I wanted to see All the King’s Men, but that doesn’t come out until the 22nd, so I settled for this.) All in all, it wasn’t a bad movie. The movie was stylishly done and the cast was pretty strong. The plot was predictable, but solid. The one thing I wasn’t overly fond of was Ben Affleck, though he did a decent job as playing the sick-as-hell-of-being-stereotyped Reeves, and he did get Reeves’ mannerisms down fairly pat. (I remember watching the Adventures of Superman back in my own youth when they were being re-run on Nick-at-Nite, so the movie did bring out some nauseating nostalgia in me.) The only good thing in the movie was, well, Adrien Brody. Other than that, the movie could have easily been an HBO special, since there was nothing there that made the movie a theater-only experience.

After the movie, I walked into my Best Buy to make sure the place hadn’t burned down. (Oh, I would pray for that, but prayers are nothing but an exercise in vocal and pseudo-spiritual masturbation.) Much to my astonishment, everything was running fairly smoothly and there were only a few minor issues I was brought up to speed on. Armageddon didn’t come… yet. While there, I picked up the special box set of The Office and the new tin of the original and unraped Star Wars. Finally, versions of the original trilogy that the revisionist hack-fuck-frakwit George Lucas didn’t pervert with his CGI revisionist jihad. Georgy boy needed to realize that art is only abandoned and never finished. And there was nothing wrong with the original trilogy anyway, except for the Ewoks. (And, no, calling them muppets is an insult to muppets everywhere.)

So that’s where I’m at.

Good night, and good luck.